Sanic.exe
This is the profile and log of Sanic's discovery Info Log Opening Now, this is the story all about how my life got flipped upside-down, and I'd like you to take a minute and just jerk right there, I'll tell you all about how I became the king of fur-tards! I'm a total Sanic the Hedgecockxxx fan much like everyone else who doesnt have a brain, I like the newer games even though they suck ass-tits, but I don't mind playing the stupid clASSics. I don't think I've ever played bitchy or fucked games before, though I don't think I want to play any after the experience I had... That fucking afternoon It started on a nice summer afternoon, I was playing Sanic Unleashed (I liked how you can rape and pillage these whores) until I noticed, out of my dick-sucking animal-fucking incest autist-furry vision, that the mailman had arrived and put something in my mailbox as usual and left, except that he had blooding eyes. I paused my game to go see what I got in the mail... The only thing in the Mailbox was a floppy disk case for computers or some shit and a note. I took it up the ass. I looked at the note first and realized it was from my dear furry sexpal Kyle (Let's just call him that), whom I hadn't heard from in 2 weeks. I know that because I recognized his handwriting, though what was weird is how it looked; it looked badly written and scratchy and somewhat difficult to read, as if Kyle was having a hard time writing it down and did it in a hurry.....maybe he was having smex with somebody else? This is what he wrote... "My Sexy Whore, I can't take it anymore, I had to get rid of my virginity somehow before it was too damn late, and I was hoping you'd do it for me. I can't do it, he’s after me, and if you don't destroy this CD, he'll come after you too, he's too fastttts Please Tom, destroy this Sanic-forsaken disc before he comes after you too, it's too late for me. Destroy the disc, and you'll destroy him, but do it quick otherwise he'll rape you. Don't even play the game, it's what he wants, just jizz on it. Please...... GUTTA GOEESSS FAAAAAAASSTSS Cunt" Well, that was certainly weird, even though i'm literally a hyena fucker. Even though Kyle IS my dear furry sexpal and I haven't fucked him in 2 weeks, I didn't do what he asked me. I didn't think that a simple gaming or porn disc would do anything bad to him, after all it's just a game or porno right? Boy, was I FUCKING wrong about that shitz... ANYFUCKINGWAY ANYFUCKINGWAY, I looked at the disc and it looks like any ordinary computer CD-R disc, except it had black marker on it written "SANIC.EXE", and it was much unlike Kyle's handwriting, meaning that he must've gotten it from someone else, like a pawn shop or eBay,BECAUSE IT HAS TO BE EBAY. When I saw "SANIC" on the writing of the CD, I was actually aroused and wanted to play it, since I'm a a BIG Sanic fan and my cock got hard. I went up to my room and turned on my computer and put the disc in and installed the game. When the title screen popped up I noticed that it was the first Sanic game, I was like "HNNNG FUCK YEAH!" Because like I fucking said earlier I liked the stupid classics. The first thing I noticed that was out of place was when I pressed start, there's was a split MOTHER FUCKING second when I saw the title image turned into something much different, something that I now consider retarded as fuck and cliche, before cutting to black. I remember what the image looked like in that split second before the game cut to black; The sky had darkened because thats super scary, the title emblem was rusted and ruined, the SEGA 1991 was now instead SEGA 666, because satan is bads, and the water had turned red, like bluud, except it looked HYPER-REALISTIC. and ther was sparm everywhere. But the most cliche and lamest thing that was in that split second frame was Sanic, his eyes were pitch black(cliche) and bluudding with two glowing red dots staring RIGHT AT ME(cliche), and his smile had stretched wider up to the edge of his face, because he was high on something. I was rather aroused about that image when I saw it, though I figured that it was just a glitch and forgot about it, because thats what all people do. After it cut to black it stayed like that for about 10 fucking seconds or so. And then another weird thing happened, the save file select from Sanic the Hedgehog 3 popped up, and I was like "WTF? What's this doing in the first god damn Sanic game?", anyway, then I noticeD something off, the background was the dark cloudy sky of the Bad Stardust Speedway level from Sanic CD, and there were only three facking save files. The music was that creepy Caverns of Winter music from Earthbound, only it was extended and seemed to have been in reverse, which is super scary And the image for the save file where you see a preview of the level you're on is just red static for all three files. What made me laugh out load more was the character select, it showed only CumDumpster, Nipples and to my surprise, HowToBasic! Edgy Now I was sure that something was up, I mean, how can you play as HowToBasic in a classic Sanic game, for satan fucking sakez? That's when I realized that this wasn't a glitchy game, it was a hackeded game! DUN DUN DUUUUUN! Yeah it definitely looked hacked, it was really retarded, but as a smart sexfreak, I wasn't scared (or at least I tried not to be, because im bisexoal), I told myself that it was just a hacked game and there's nothing fucking wrong with that. Anyways, shaking off the aroused out feeling I picked File 1 and chose CumDumpster and when I selected and got started. The game froze for about 5 seconds and I heard a stupid pixelated laugh that sounded a lot like that Kefka retard from UnFinal Fantasy before cutting to black. This is supposed to make you crap yourself. I did. The screen stayed black for about 10 seconds or more, then it showed the typical level title thingy, except the simplistic shapes were different shades of bluud and the text showed only "GATTO, ACT 1". The screen faded in and the level title vanished revealing CumDumpster in the Shit Hill Zone from Sanic 1, the music was different though, it sounded like a happy-dappy melody in reverse(cliche). Anyway I started playing and had CumDumpster start running like you would in any of the classic Sanic games, becase I need to keep calling these fucking classic, what was odd was that as CumDumpster was running along the level there was nothing but flat ground and a few trees for 5 minutes, like SUPER PIMP-ASS LEVEL DESIGN, that was when the happy-dappy crap started to lower down(cliche) into slow deep tones very slowly(cliche) as I kept going. I suddenly saw something and I stopped to freaking see what it was; it was one of the small animals lying dead on the ground bluuding (That was when the music started to slow down and another cliche), CumDumpster had a shocked and saddened look on his face,(which is odd since its FUCKING PIXELS) and I never saw him have this before, so I had him move along, and he kept that worried look on his face. As it kept moving, I saw more dead animals as CumDumpster moved past them looking more and more worried as the music lowers(cliche) and he moves past more dead animals, I was shocked to see how they all died, they looked like somebody killed them in rather gruesome ways; a squirrel was hanged on a tree with what appeared to be his poop-maker hanging out, a bunny had all four of his limbs torn off and a duck had his eyes ripped the fuck out and his throat slit,I was so god damn scared. I felt sick to my dick (like the rhyme?) when I saw this massacre and apparently so did CumDumpster, even though he is just pixels. After a few more seconds there were no more animals and the music seemed to have stopped, I still kept CumDumpster to continue. After a minute passed after the music stopped, CumDumpster was running up a hill and then he stopped, it wasn't until I saw why; Sanic was there on the other side of the screen with his back against CumDumpster with his eyes closed. CumDumpster looked happy to see Sanic but then his smile faltered, obviously noticing that Sanic wasn't responding to him, if not acting as if he was totally oblivious of CumDumpster' s presence. CumDumpster walked slowly toward Sanic, and I noticed that it was a cutscene and I was being a complete retard and kept pressing buttons. Suddenly I began to have a growing feel of dread and the sense to crap as CumDumpster walked closer to Sanic to get his attention, I felt that CumDumpster, who was nothing but fake pixels, was in danger and something bad was going to happen. I heard faint static growing louder(cliche) as CumDumpster was but inches away from Sanic and stopped and stuck his cock out to touch him. That foreboding feeling in my butt was growing stronger and I felt the urge to tell CumDumpster to stay da fuck away from Sanic as the static grew louder(cliche), even though they were fake pixels. I really must be a autistic retard. Suddenly in a split second I saw Sanic's eyes open and they were black with those red glowing dots(cliche), just like that title image, thought there wasn't a smile. When that happened the screen turned black and the static sound was ded. Well, he's fucking dead. It stayed black for about 7 seconds and then bluud-red text appeared forming a message, saying, "Hello. Do you want to have buttseck with me?" At this point I was facepalming because this crap was retarded, I didn't want to continue with this failure, but my own retardism got the better of me when I was taken to a different level with the level title now saying "BONDAGE AND SECK". This time I was in the Devil Island level from Sanic 3 and it looked like everything was on FYARE! CumDumpster looked as though he was scared out of his wits this time, even though he is just pixels. He actually looked at me(cliche) and made frantic gestures to me as if he wanted to get out of the area he was in as fast as possible, but he is still pixels, so I was just like "fuck you". I was starting to get bored of this crap by this fucking time...I mean CumDumpster was actually breaking the fourth mother fucking wall, trying to tell me to get him out of there, even though he is fucking pixels. I need to get my autism in check. So I pressed down on the arrow key as hard as I fucking could and made him run as fast as he could, a pixelated version of that creepy theme when you meet Emo at the ARK as HowToBasic from SA2 was playing as I made CumDumpster trek through the desolate forest, trying to help him escape from whatever he was trying to run from in-game, because this crap isnt real. Suddenly I heard that retarded laugh again... that awful, Kefka laugh... right after 10 light-years have passed as I helped CumDumpster run through the forest, and then I started seeing flashes of Sanic pooping everywhere on the screen, again with those black and red eyes(this god damn cliche). The music changed to that suspenseful drowning jingle as I see Sanic behind CumDumpster slowly gaining up on him FLYING; Sanic wasn't running, he was actually FUCKING FLYING! The flying pose his sprite was making looked very similar to Metal Sanic's flying pose in Sanic CD, except it was just Sanic and he had the black and red eyes again(cliche.....my god), only..................THIS time he had the most deranged!!!11!1 looking grin on his face, he looked as though he was enjoying the torment he was giving the poor little fake pixeled dumpster as he gained up on him to rape. Suddenly when CumDumpster tripped (another cut FUCKING scene! What is this? Resident Evil 5?) the music stopped and Sanic vanished. CumDumpster laid there and started crying like a bitch for 15 hours. The scene was rather funny to watch and I laughed like hell, because this crap is retarded. But then Sanic appeared right in front of CumDumpster and the little fuck face looked up in horror. Bluud started to come down those blackened eyes of Sanic's(cliche) as a grin slowly grew from his face as he looked down at the horrified dumpster, I could do nothing but masterbate. Just in a split second Sanic lunged at CumDumpster for maxium rape right before the screen went black, there was a SUPA LOUD screeching ear-rape noise that only, ONLY, lasted 5 seconds. BLUUD TEXT II The bluud-red text returned only this time it said "YOURZ TOZ SLOWZ! W4nNA trYz AGAIN!111!?" and I had the choice to say "yes" or "nope", but when I clicked nope because this shit sucks, the crap made me click yes and then that retared laugh came with it. God damn, I just got fucking trolled by a game! I was so bored as fuck by what had happened...did Sanic murder CumDumpster? No, he couldn't have... He and CumDumpster are supposed to be best fuck buddies, right? Why did Saniczdo that to him? I wanked the shock off as I was brought back to the character select, the save file that had CumDumpster was different; CumDumpster was no longer in the box itself but in the TV screen itself, which was flickering with that red static, CumDumpster's expression made me vomit, his eyes were black and bleeding(cliche), his orange fur had gone black because he is emo and he had an expression of anguish on his pixeled fucking face, Trying to ignore it I picked Nipples next. Miles Tails Prower Advance2 Wat CumDumper loooks liek. The super cliche laugh came again and the screen cut to black again and stayed there for another 10 minutes, this time the level said "YOURZ TO SLOWZ! Y0UZ CANTZ RUNZ! GATTO GOZ FAZTZ". I was really aroused out by now, I couldn't really tell if this was a glitch, or a hack, or some kind of sick twisted snuff film... or anything really. But despite my arousal for this shit of what happened next, I kept playing. The next level looked much different, it had the ground of the Scrap Shit zone, but the sky background looked like the main menu; it had the dark bluud-reddish cloudy sky. But it was the music that made me facepalm the most due to this cliche crap: It sounded like Giygas' theme right after you beat Faggot in Earthbound. I also noticed that Nipples looked afraid just like CumDumpster did, though not as much, more rather he looked a little unnerved, even though he is pixels. He broke the fourth mother fucking wall just like CumDumpster and looked as if he wasn't sure about going on, but I made him move anyway, because im a dick. He ran down the straight pathway in this dark porn lab level, and as he did the screen started to flicker red static(cliche?) a couple times and then that maddening retarded laugh came again.(this pasta is making its own god damn cliche) Then after a few seconds of running I notice several bluudstains on the metallic ground, I felt a growing sense of needing to crap again thinking something horrible is going to happen to Nipples. He looked nauseated walking down this bluud-stained road,even though is he fake pixels but I still kept him going like the autist I am. Escape from the rape m8 Suddenly as Nipples ran, Sanic appeared right in front of him with those super cliche black and red eyes and then red static appeared fucking again, when the static vanished showing nothing but black screen with text saying "FOuNd YOu! T1m3z f0R Rap3!", I was now really aroused, Sanic raped Nipples already?! What was going on?! This sounds like a really bad fan fiction! AnyFUCKINGway red static came again(this shit is making another cliche) and then I was back to the level, Nipples looked like he was panicking, and Sanic was nowhere to be found. And this time that high-pitched squealing from the Silent Vagina 1's final buss was playing. Was this some kind of boss battle with Sanic? I hoped to the furry satan it wasn't, honestly. Suddenly Sanic appeared right behind Nipples in what appeared to be pixelated black smoke, I made Nipples turn and then penatrate Sanic, but Sanic vanished in black pixelated smoke before I could even land a dick-slap on him, that terriblely cliche laugh went off again. Then Sanic appeared behind Nipples again and then I made him dick-slap him again, and Sanic vanished again laughing like a retard. Nipples was panicking even more, and even I felt like I was going crazy(as if I was already wasnt), Sanic was practically toying with us like sex slaves, he was playing a sick twisted little porn game with me furry retarded ass and Nipples... Another cut fucking scene played as Nipples fell to his nipples and clutched his penis sobbing like the pussy he is, I felt his agony because im a autist retard, Sanic was actually driving us BOTH crazy.(Even though im already mentally ill as fuck) And then in a split second Sanic lunged at Nipples for maxium rape and the screen went black with another distorted screeching ear-rape noise that lasted for at least 30 seconds. My ears bluud bad. Another text message appeared, "So many cocks and anus to play with, so little time... wouldnt you agree, you furry retard?" 250px-Knuckles the Echidna picture This is what nipples looked like What the fuck... Just what is going on? I started to think Sanic was actually trying to talkz to me through the game...(which is really fucking stupid sounding) But I was too aroused at the thought of hot sanicXXXnipples smex to think that. Hawt2basic I was brought back to the main menu and this time the second file box had Nipples in the TV screen, his red fur had darkened to a reddish grey because he also went emo, his dreadlocks were dripping with bluud and his eyes were black and bleeding too(super cliche), and he had a look of sadness on his face. I began to think that those are the actual characters trapped in those TV screens on the save files, because im a autist fucking retard but I couldn't believe it... I didn't want to believe it...I didn't want to believe I was becoming ChrisChan. So I shut off the game like a pussy and took a sex break by raping my turtlz named bob. I took a nap after, wish I hadn't, 'cause I was violated while doing so, then began to have the most wonderful nightmareish wet dream ever, I was in pitch black darkness, though I was under the light given off by a lamp that hung high above my head. I was naked and had a super hard on and all sorts of sex toys were around me! I could hear the aroused, died moans of Nipples and CumDumpster nearby. They were saying stuff like, "Fuck us harder..." and "Why didn't you fuck us before you did this?" and "Don't run away, before he rapes you too..." Their cries died out as I then heard Sanic laugh, his laugh... it sounded a lot like the distorted super cliche retarded Kefka laugh. "You're a lot fun to rape you little furry retard, just like your asperger filled sexpal Kyle, though he didn't last long to my 24 inch cock..." I was aroused and looking around for the source of the hyena howls... "Won't be long now until you join that little bitch and all my other porn stars! Gotta love dem pron films..." I saw him walking toward me, flickering in and out in several directions with his 24 inches between his legs that included foreskin.......FLACCID! "You can't run, you furry retard. You're in my pron film now. Just like the others..." When he grabbed me cock and I saw his bleeding black and red-eyed, grinning face(cliche), I woke up with a cum shot.(which landed on bob the turtlz) After a couple of hours I decided to continue playing the game, because im not a pussy. I knew why, but I had to know, I had to figure out why this was happening... So I turned on the computer, turned on the game and selected HowToBasic next. I still thought that was wacky, playing as HowToBasic, but anyway the level title appeared again and this time it said "Eggs Sluts 17", which I found really hot. Howtobasic HowToBasic n da gaem. This time I was in some kind of giant kitchen, didn't really look like it was from any of the classic(had to fucking say it) Sanic games, though it has the pixelated style; the floor was shiny and checkered, the walls were a dark greyish purple with animated candlelight’s and a few dark bloodstains here and there, and there was a dark red curtain hanging above on the top part of the screen. Every 12 seconds or so that red curtain sways very slowly, but whenever you're playing the game you can barely see it move, because in a SANIC GAME, YOU CEARTAINLY HAVE BETTER STUFFS TO DO THAN LOOK AT FUCKING CARTAINS. The music was oddly pleasant, a piano playing a rather sad yet peaceful song, but I knew better, this was the song that played in GATTO act 1, only it wasn't in reverse.(shocker, not a cliche) HowToBasic didn't look entirely nervous like CumDumpster and Nipples did, but he did have a suspicious look on his face as if he was just a bit eggynoid. He did a little animation when I just left him standing, he turns his "lower head" to the left and then to the right at least twice and then crushes a egg with legs, as if he doesnt even give a flying fuck. Even though I was aroused outta my mind about what was going to happen, I had HowToBasic continue onward. He did his usual running animation (You know, when he likes to run off in his videos) as we continued going through the kitchen. Then I stop at a long flight of eggs leading downward, now I was just getting bored again, even HowToBasic seemed bored, so he made a noise and dropped a egg from his butt, though I pressed onward. As I led HowToBasic down the eggs, I noticed that the walls have gotten darker and more reddish; the red torches are now an eerie blue. I swore I could hear a baby crying and snoring, and every time it started up, HowToBasic would shush it. Then we landed onto another hallway, this one was longer than the last one (or at least it felt like it) and then we headed down another flight of eggs down, this one was much longer, took at least 2 full minutes. And then I heard that horridly cliche Kefka laugh again and then the music slowly faded until it was quiet(cliche), as it did the walls turned more dark red and the torches were a black flame now. When HowToBasic landed onto the 3rd kitchen, I noticed he now looked really dirty now, though he tried to hide it, by slapping fish together. I couldn't blame him, because im a furry autist. Suddenly, Sanic popped right in front of HowToBasic the same way he did Nipples and then red static. The red static lasted for about 15 second during that time, I heard eggs smashing and HowToBasic grunting while Sanic himself started to scream! and then it showed me a most unpleasant image... The image showed a hyper-realistic(super cliche of all cliche) of Sanic standing in the darkness where you can only see his face while his head and torso faded into black(or not, I dont fucking know), and when I say hyper-realistic, I mean like he looked so real you could actually see the lines in his blue fur, as if you could actually feel the fur if you touched the screen.(Im just really fucking retarded. disregard that, I suck cock) His face...lol, he had the most lol-filled smile I had ever seen. And that's saying something considering I saw that image at the start of the game. His eyes are wide and black and once again crying blood (Which also looked hyper-realistic! This is super cliche even for me) and there were two small glowing red dots in those black eyes staring RIGHT AT ME(cliche.....again), as if staring into my mind. His grin was wide and demonic(cliche), it literally stretched to the sides of his face like a Cheshire Cat except Sanic had fangs, VERY SHARP fangs, much like the Werehogxxx teeth except more vicious-looking, somewhat yellowish and from the look of it, he had stains of bluud and small bits of flesh on his lips and fangs as if he ate some animal's dick off. I stared at that super-lolly image for a good 30 seconds, never taking my eyes off it, I felt as if he was actually looking at me, smiling at me...that face, it just took 10 thrusts for it to penetrate itself into my brain for good. Then the screen flickered with red static again 3 times, and on the 3rd time I heard the retarded Kefka laugh, except this time it sounded distorted, demonic even...(had to turn a cliche into a super cliche) It went back to the image again except this time there was the text again though it was messed up, but it was pretty much one of the most retarded things I looked at since I had this game... "I AM GOD! AND SOOPER FOOKIN FASTS!." It was when I read that message while looking at Sanic when it hit me, I realized right there and then. This Sanic was a monster, a pure evil, sadistic, all-powerful, sexy, demented menster... and all of his victims, including CumDumpster, Nipples, Possibly HowToBasic and my sweet sexpal retard Kyle, are just his little toys, and the game is the very gateway into his chaotic, nightmarish snuff film porn world and the very heaven his victims are trapped in. PLOT TWIST Suddenly in an actual split second I screamed like that swedish faggot named PewDiePie as Sanic lunged at the screen for maxium rape screeching loudly with his mouth wide open to an unnatural length revealing nothing but a literally spiraling abyss of pure darkness and AIDS before the red static came again, this time much louder and distorted, so loud that it hurt my ears and my eyes exploded, I yelled and grabbed my face as the red static screeched for a good 7 seconds and hyper-realistic bluud shot from my eye sockets.(My eyes regrew for some god damn reason) Then it stopped and showed nothing but black screen. As I sat there staring at the black screen, one last text came up. "Ready for Round 2, JCtheHyena, you furry retard?" The now super cliche Kefka laugh, now sounding more clear as if Sonic was right behind me, played again 3 times as I looked at that text in shock and confusion....and also horniness. Then I got booted back to the main menu and this time the third save file had a TV image of eggs, all broken and matching CumDumpster and Nipples; HowToBasic was not seen at all. I looked at CumDumpster, Nipples and those eggs and I jizzed a bit, I laughed at them for the agony they're going through, they were forever trapped within this crap, forever tormented by that horrid hedgehogxxx, and always will be. Then the computer shut itself off and a skeleton popped out then back in, I couldn't turn it back on no matter what I did. I sat there for maybe 25 seconds, laughing by what had just happened... END Sanic is the very embodiment of pron films, he tortures people who play his game in more ways than one and then when he gets bored he drags you into the game, literally drags you to Hell, where he can play with you always, as his toy.....HIS SEX TOY! I can't get the game outta my computer. I think it's stuck in there, but at least I managed to turn it back on now.(because that was a good fucking idea! This is why autist shouldnt be allowed near Computers! i"ve had seck with autistz, so i can do that joke) After I sat there for 25 seconds I heard a voice right behind me, like a whisper... "Try to keep this interesting for me, you autist piece of shit dicksucker bastard sonfa bitch horsecock." I turned around to see where the voice came from, and what I saw made me scream like PlzDiePie... Sitting on my bed... staring right at me... ... Was a retarded Sanic plushie, smiling with bloodstains under its eyes.(cliche) As I thought I was about to die, HowToBasic kicked the door down, while naked and covered in food and blood! The sanic doll looked at him with a worried face and screamed "NOOOO! EGGS ARE MY ONLY WEAKNESS!" and HowToBasic grunted like a manly man and killed Sanic with 1000 eggs. After this, I tried to suck his eggs, but he roundhouse kicked me across the face and slapped me with a rotten fish. He than jumped out my window and egg-flew back to Australia. I never saw him again. Category:Asian Characters Category:Historical Events Category:THE CUMBUCKET Category:Villains Category:NSFW Category:My name is Jeff. Category:Mutants Category:Deceased? Category:Entities Category:Entity